It is hard to remember details from an event of over 5 years ago but sometimes impressions are the most important parts of memory. I remember being anxious and uncertain-wanting this baby to come as soon as possible. Not only did I think that a due date was a guarantee of arrival, I also had believed my Dr. When he told me a month earlier that the baby would come anytime. With Braxton hicks and what I felt to be incredible discomfort, I was eager to be in labour if only to have that baby in my arms. The waiting was challenging to say the least and then the induction process frustrating. What I remember, I remember stages. The administration of cervadil - labouring at home - intense pain of contractions close together - arrival at the hospital - little progress - oxytocin then being administered. Labouring into the night listening to Sarah McGlaughliun -an epidural-slow progress. Pushing for an hour. Nate’s heart rate going down. Having to talk about vacuum and c-section possibility. Finally, after so much anxiety, Nate being born and feeling relief, panic about the blood and not so small amounts of pain. After suctioning Nate was returned to me and I remember feeling uncertain. The nurses had me try to nurse immediately which I felt daunting. I felt like I had been through a war zone and my body had been battered and irrevocably changed-in ways I couldn’t have anticipated by the experience. And yet I learned from the journey-about myself and about my son.
John’s Birth Story—2 years old
I knew that things were going to be different. I wanted to rewrite the birth experience I had with Nate so I researched as much as I could about birth-a birth without interventions that would leave me feeling like I had the previous time. From reading, birth choices (this is a group that offers prenatal once a month for free), preparation and getting set with B. as our Doula, I felt like this time would be different. John’s arrival began at 2am. And within hours the contractions were hard and heavy at 2 minutes apart. We got to the hospital and continued to labour with many comfort measures. Despite some significant discouragement (and later lack of participation) from Dr. W., we had a great nurse-nAncy- as well as some ability to get in to the shower to relieve some pain. The back labour was excruciating and seemingly unending. The progress seemed slow and the day continued to drag on. I recall wanting to be done and then knowing the pain was too much. I hit a point when I wanted-begged-prayed-for it to be over. I recall calling out and being desperate for relief. I remember a nurse telling me I simply had to get through the “ring of fire” and being desperate for it all to be over. John’s eventual arrival was amazing-to see him safe and beautiful. I was on a high-and ready to run a marathon I thought. It was a recovery that took very little time and I remember elation and euphoria as I nursed and bonded with him.
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