I
am from Biggar Sask about 50mins from Saskatoon. I am 25 years old... This is
my daughter Zuri's birth story....
I think a brief medical history is needed before starting my story. When I was about 14 years old I was diagnosed with a uterine horn and it was removed because of the extreme amount of pain it caused me when I had my monthly period. This basically meant that I had 2 uterus'. (one almost fully developed and another small closed off one that filled with blood and contracted and caused pain) After this was removed I was told I should be able to have children normal like anyone else although I had only 1 tube and 2 ovaries. Sure enough when my partner and I decided to try for a baby it took only a few short months and after my first period since trying we got pregnant.
I saw an OB for the whole pregnancy because no one really seemed sure how my pregnancy would play out. I had about 7 ultrasounds through my pregnancy to “watch” if everything was going well which it was. I had an ultrasound right before going into labour and no one seemed to notice anything...
The night of December 27 2009 my partner Chris Bailey and I were having a family supper for Christmas at my grandmothers. I was 32 weeks pregnant with Zuri. I ate so much turkey and potatoes I felt like I might burst. Little did I know that hours later this would come true.
Just after midnight that same night it turned December 28 2009 and I was playing a game on Facebook. (Treasure Isle) Chris was upstairs sleeping and had to work in the morning. I went into the fridge to eat some left over turkey and chocolate. As I was standing there pigging out I heard a pop and felt a gush. I looked down to see water pouring through my pants. I thought “oh my god I'm peeing my pants!” I grabbed at my crotch and smelt the liquid. Didn't smell like pee and it wouldn't stop. Yes, I was in HUGE denial about my water just breaking. I started to panic and ran upstairs turned the light on in the bedroom and yelled at Chris “ CHRIS GET UP I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE!” He sat straight up out of a dead sleep and said “Oh my god really? Are you sure?” I said “I think so, look.” I sat on the toilet for a few minutes till I got some clean pants.
I called my mom and told her and in minutes my whole family was at my house, including mom, dad and my younger sister. I am sure I was in denial and shock because I went on Facebook and typed in my status what happened. I started to walk around drinking a pop. I was saying “I have tons of time to pack and get ready because I was reading that women go into labour and it takes hours or even days for the baby to arrive!!” Little did I know that this was NOT the case with me having a baby at 32 weeks.
After my family yelled enough for me to get into the car we discovered there was no gas to make it to the hospital in the city 1 hour away. It was midnight so nothing was open. We had to drive and get my sisters car. Once I got into my sisters car we started to head to the city. (Saskatoon) Chris was driving I was passenger and my mom was in the back seat. My dad and sister followed in there car. About 15-20 minutes since my water broke and just out of town I started to have contractions. My mom was timing them. She kept saying “this isn't right, this can't be right..” I said “what's going on? Why do you seem worried?” She said “Well your contractions seem to be perfectly 5 minutes apart and this happens at the END of labour!” I guess I was STILL in denial because I didn't seem to realize I was very close to having Zuri. I kept having an extreme urge to pee and poop. I had Chris stop the car and got out in the snow and -20 weather and stared to push really hard trying to pee. (I realize NOW this was me wanted to PUSH Zuri out!) After this my contractions were about 3 consistent minutes apart. My mom called 911. I have to “use the bathroom” and it was driving me crazy so I wanted Chris to pull over again. The lady on the phone said “NO, don't let her do that whatever you do!!”
We drove a few more miles and met the ambulance and by the time I got in my contractions were VERY strong and about 2 minutes apart. The paramedic “checked” me and said “I feel a foot!” (I later found out this was her bum pocking out) I said “where? How far out?” She was coming and by now I started to realize this and had to “hold on” and not push.
We pulled into the hospital about 2 ½ hours after my water broke, I was 10 centimetres dilated and Zuri was WELL on her way and breech. My contractions were pretty much one long one by this point and I SO wanted to just push her out. (Knowing what I know now I probably just would have) I was rushed into emergency and the doctor came in and I heard them talking about if they should do a c-section because she was breach or let me push her out. At this point I was not able to speak for myself and just signed the paper for the c-section having no idea what it even said. I could have been signing over my soul for all I knew. I signed the paper and was instantly giving the epidural for a c-section. As this was happening I was trying with everything I had not to push while I had a nurse yelling at me “DON'T PUSH!”
Before I knew it I was cut open and could “feel” them pulling Zuri out then I heard her cry and I was so happy. Zuri was born 4 lbs 4 oz and 16 Inches long! This isn't to small for a baby born at 32 weeks. Chris was right next to me taking pictures of her and telling me she was ok and everything was going great. Thank god for his support. Then the most amazing moment happened and they passed Zuri to Chris and he held her by my face and she was beautiful. Chris was talking to me and she was looking around for him. She recognized his voice and knew this was her daddy. It was simply amazing!
Then this story starts to get sad... I never got to touch her yet and they took her down to the NICU. I was wheeled into the recovery room where I threw up all the turkey and chocolate I ate earlier that night. I really regretted that. After a while I was moved into a room where I go to sleep. Not once did anyone ask or talk to me about breast feeding my baby or pumping. The next day once I realize I had no milk for Zuri and she was getting formula I got upset and started to ask what to do. I didn't get much or any help for that matter. I was just told to use this pump and pump my milk. I later found an amazing nurse that explained everything to me and how to do it and how often. She said about every 2-3 hours around the clock.
This is when the pumping started in. I pumped every 2-3 hours and set my phone alarm to wake up in the night. I will NEVER forget how exciting it was to see the first few drops of milk only a few days later. The first time I started to get milk was about 2:00AM and as it started to come I cried and cried. I pumped for an hour to get about an oz. I made it a point to bring it down to Zuri myself in the middle of the night crying because I was so happy to get it and give it to her and from the pain of the c-section.
Days later I finally got to hold Zuri for the first time. I touched her a few days before but not hold her. This was very difficult because I honestly think I sound horrible when I say this but I did not feel a bond between us. I felt empty and almost like I had “lost” a baby the whole 49 days in the hospital. There was no skin to skin and hardly any breast feeding. I spent most of my time arguing with the nurses back and forth to keep feeding Zuri breast milk. Almost every time I went back into the room they were feeding formula. The reason would be because she was spitting up because of re-flux and I didn't know any better so I listened. I know SO much better now but this didn't help me then.
While in the hospital Chris and I stayed with Zuri and nearly went poor in the process. We could hardly afford rent, food or bills. At times we just didn't pay anything because we couldn't. We need to focus all our attention on and being with Zuri and forget the rest. We had enough stress with being in the hospital. We each had a few breakdowns but thankfully at separate times so we could be there for each other. We also had amazing support from family. My amazing mother was in the city almost daily to be with me. For anyone that has had a baby in the NICU you must know the pain I speak of. PLUS, we were treated like non-humans most often while there. They kicked us out of our room and put us on the dirty floor at one point. One horrific event I will never forget because it was one of the scariest times in my life. I was sitting in the room with Zuri and a large group of doctors and students came in and were looking at Zuri and talking to each other while I was sitting there. They completely ignored me and talked amongst each other. I could hear them saying something about Zuri's heart. I was panicked and asked what was wrong and they just said “oh she has a heart murmur and will be fine” while walking out. I was freaked out and so worried something was wrong with my baby and NO ONE to explain anything to me. I had to wait a few days to find out anything about it. (It is now gone and she is great!) but at the time I had NO idea what was going on. Talk about being treated like an animal.
So 49 days of hell later, it was time for Zuri to come home. It was an amazing but scary day. We took Zuri home in her car seat and she looked so tiny at not yet 5 lbs. For the first few months it was very difficult because I still pumped around the clock every 2-3 hours (through the night) because Zuri had trouble getting enough milk from the breast. I was also extremely afraid to stop pumping and lose my milk. I was 100% against the idea of formula and wanted a large supply of milk in case anything went wrong. It never did. One day I just put the pump away and said “lets try just breast feeding for a few days.” Well ever since then the bottles have never been used again and were put away completely and Zuri is and was exclusively breast fed. I am SO proud to say this! Through all the stress, pain and hardships I never stopped pumping breast milk for my beautiful baby and am so glad I made this choice. So glad I never had to give 1 drop of formula since her early NICU days.
Chris and I went through a lot but we were there for each other through it all and this matters most. Yes, I am sad I never got to have a natural birth but I don't regret anything because it made me the amazing mommy I am. Would I ever go through this again? Not in 100 years! Now that I KNOW better I will DO better! Next time NO formula! I have so many supports (Friends and Eats On Feets milk sharing) I would make sure of this. Would I get a c-section again? NEVER! I missed out on that beautiful skin to skin contact that every mother NEEDS to bond. Like I said I felt like I lost a baby for so long and it took me a while to bond properly with my beautiful baby. Now we get skin to skin daily! I do feel like Zuri and I missed out on what is sacred and special at birth and will do everything I can next time to MAKE SURE this never happens again. This experience has taught Chris and I a lot for better.
Zuri is now almost a year old and breast feeding like a sure pro and not stopping anytime soon. She will wean when she is good and ready. She is strong and healthy and weighs 17 lbs and is 27 ½ Inches long! She is the most amazing little girl. She is loved by all our hearts! I hope other mommies can read this story and gain strength. We will do all we can do as parents to fight for our children and make sure they get what is best for them.
First time I ever held Zuri, 5th First time Chris (daddy) ever held Zuri. 6th Zuri 1 years old. (Current)
Amy McCarty
I think a brief medical history is needed before starting my story. When I was about 14 years old I was diagnosed with a uterine horn and it was removed because of the extreme amount of pain it caused me when I had my monthly period. This basically meant that I had 2 uterus'. (one almost fully developed and another small closed off one that filled with blood and contracted and caused pain) After this was removed I was told I should be able to have children normal like anyone else although I had only 1 tube and 2 ovaries. Sure enough when my partner and I decided to try for a baby it took only a few short months and after my first period since trying we got pregnant.
I saw an OB for the whole pregnancy because no one really seemed sure how my pregnancy would play out. I had about 7 ultrasounds through my pregnancy to “watch” if everything was going well which it was. I had an ultrasound right before going into labour and no one seemed to notice anything...
The night of December 27 2009 my partner Chris Bailey and I were having a family supper for Christmas at my grandmothers. I was 32 weeks pregnant with Zuri. I ate so much turkey and potatoes I felt like I might burst. Little did I know that hours later this would come true.
Just after midnight that same night it turned December 28 2009 and I was playing a game on Facebook. (Treasure Isle) Chris was upstairs sleeping and had to work in the morning. I went into the fridge to eat some left over turkey and chocolate. As I was standing there pigging out I heard a pop and felt a gush. I looked down to see water pouring through my pants. I thought “oh my god I'm peeing my pants!” I grabbed at my crotch and smelt the liquid. Didn't smell like pee and it wouldn't stop. Yes, I was in HUGE denial about my water just breaking. I started to panic and ran upstairs turned the light on in the bedroom and yelled at Chris “ CHRIS GET UP I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE!” He sat straight up out of a dead sleep and said “Oh my god really? Are you sure?” I said “I think so, look.” I sat on the toilet for a few minutes till I got some clean pants.
I called my mom and told her and in minutes my whole family was at my house, including mom, dad and my younger sister. I am sure I was in denial and shock because I went on Facebook and typed in my status what happened. I started to walk around drinking a pop. I was saying “I have tons of time to pack and get ready because I was reading that women go into labour and it takes hours or even days for the baby to arrive!!” Little did I know that this was NOT the case with me having a baby at 32 weeks.
After my family yelled enough for me to get into the car we discovered there was no gas to make it to the hospital in the city 1 hour away. It was midnight so nothing was open. We had to drive and get my sisters car. Once I got into my sisters car we started to head to the city. (Saskatoon) Chris was driving I was passenger and my mom was in the back seat. My dad and sister followed in there car. About 15-20 minutes since my water broke and just out of town I started to have contractions. My mom was timing them. She kept saying “this isn't right, this can't be right..” I said “what's going on? Why do you seem worried?” She said “Well your contractions seem to be perfectly 5 minutes apart and this happens at the END of labour!” I guess I was STILL in denial because I didn't seem to realize I was very close to having Zuri. I kept having an extreme urge to pee and poop. I had Chris stop the car and got out in the snow and -20 weather and stared to push really hard trying to pee. (I realize NOW this was me wanted to PUSH Zuri out!) After this my contractions were about 3 consistent minutes apart. My mom called 911. I have to “use the bathroom” and it was driving me crazy so I wanted Chris to pull over again. The lady on the phone said “NO, don't let her do that whatever you do!!”
We drove a few more miles and met the ambulance and by the time I got in my contractions were VERY strong and about 2 minutes apart. The paramedic “checked” me and said “I feel a foot!” (I later found out this was her bum pocking out) I said “where? How far out?” She was coming and by now I started to realize this and had to “hold on” and not push.
We pulled into the hospital about 2 ½ hours after my water broke, I was 10 centimetres dilated and Zuri was WELL on her way and breech. My contractions were pretty much one long one by this point and I SO wanted to just push her out. (Knowing what I know now I probably just would have) I was rushed into emergency and the doctor came in and I heard them talking about if they should do a c-section because she was breach or let me push her out. At this point I was not able to speak for myself and just signed the paper for the c-section having no idea what it even said. I could have been signing over my soul for all I knew. I signed the paper and was instantly giving the epidural for a c-section. As this was happening I was trying with everything I had not to push while I had a nurse yelling at me “DON'T PUSH!”
Before I knew it I was cut open and could “feel” them pulling Zuri out then I heard her cry and I was so happy. Zuri was born 4 lbs 4 oz and 16 Inches long! This isn't to small for a baby born at 32 weeks. Chris was right next to me taking pictures of her and telling me she was ok and everything was going great. Thank god for his support. Then the most amazing moment happened and they passed Zuri to Chris and he held her by my face and she was beautiful. Chris was talking to me and she was looking around for him. She recognized his voice and knew this was her daddy. It was simply amazing!
Then this story starts to get sad... I never got to touch her yet and they took her down to the NICU. I was wheeled into the recovery room where I threw up all the turkey and chocolate I ate earlier that night. I really regretted that. After a while I was moved into a room where I go to sleep. Not once did anyone ask or talk to me about breast feeding my baby or pumping. The next day once I realize I had no milk for Zuri and she was getting formula I got upset and started to ask what to do. I didn't get much or any help for that matter. I was just told to use this pump and pump my milk. I later found an amazing nurse that explained everything to me and how to do it and how often. She said about every 2-3 hours around the clock.
This is when the pumping started in. I pumped every 2-3 hours and set my phone alarm to wake up in the night. I will NEVER forget how exciting it was to see the first few drops of milk only a few days later. The first time I started to get milk was about 2:00AM and as it started to come I cried and cried. I pumped for an hour to get about an oz. I made it a point to bring it down to Zuri myself in the middle of the night crying because I was so happy to get it and give it to her and from the pain of the c-section.
Days later I finally got to hold Zuri for the first time. I touched her a few days before but not hold her. This was very difficult because I honestly think I sound horrible when I say this but I did not feel a bond between us. I felt empty and almost like I had “lost” a baby the whole 49 days in the hospital. There was no skin to skin and hardly any breast feeding. I spent most of my time arguing with the nurses back and forth to keep feeding Zuri breast milk. Almost every time I went back into the room they were feeding formula. The reason would be because she was spitting up because of re-flux and I didn't know any better so I listened. I know SO much better now but this didn't help me then.
While in the hospital Chris and I stayed with Zuri and nearly went poor in the process. We could hardly afford rent, food or bills. At times we just didn't pay anything because we couldn't. We need to focus all our attention on and being with Zuri and forget the rest. We had enough stress with being in the hospital. We each had a few breakdowns but thankfully at separate times so we could be there for each other. We also had amazing support from family. My amazing mother was in the city almost daily to be with me. For anyone that has had a baby in the NICU you must know the pain I speak of. PLUS, we were treated like non-humans most often while there. They kicked us out of our room and put us on the dirty floor at one point. One horrific event I will never forget because it was one of the scariest times in my life. I was sitting in the room with Zuri and a large group of doctors and students came in and were looking at Zuri and talking to each other while I was sitting there. They completely ignored me and talked amongst each other. I could hear them saying something about Zuri's heart. I was panicked and asked what was wrong and they just said “oh she has a heart murmur and will be fine” while walking out. I was freaked out and so worried something was wrong with my baby and NO ONE to explain anything to me. I had to wait a few days to find out anything about it. (It is now gone and she is great!) but at the time I had NO idea what was going on. Talk about being treated like an animal.
So 49 days of hell later, it was time for Zuri to come home. It was an amazing but scary day. We took Zuri home in her car seat and she looked so tiny at not yet 5 lbs. For the first few months it was very difficult because I still pumped around the clock every 2-3 hours (through the night) because Zuri had trouble getting enough milk from the breast. I was also extremely afraid to stop pumping and lose my milk. I was 100% against the idea of formula and wanted a large supply of milk in case anything went wrong. It never did. One day I just put the pump away and said “lets try just breast feeding for a few days.” Well ever since then the bottles have never been used again and were put away completely and Zuri is and was exclusively breast fed. I am SO proud to say this! Through all the stress, pain and hardships I never stopped pumping breast milk for my beautiful baby and am so glad I made this choice. So glad I never had to give 1 drop of formula since her early NICU days.
Chris and I went through a lot but we were there for each other through it all and this matters most. Yes, I am sad I never got to have a natural birth but I don't regret anything because it made me the amazing mommy I am. Would I ever go through this again? Not in 100 years! Now that I KNOW better I will DO better! Next time NO formula! I have so many supports (Friends and Eats On Feets milk sharing) I would make sure of this. Would I get a c-section again? NEVER! I missed out on that beautiful skin to skin contact that every mother NEEDS to bond. Like I said I felt like I lost a baby for so long and it took me a while to bond properly with my beautiful baby. Now we get skin to skin daily! I do feel like Zuri and I missed out on what is sacred and special at birth and will do everything I can next time to MAKE SURE this never happens again. This experience has taught Chris and I a lot for better.
Zuri is now almost a year old and breast feeding like a sure pro and not stopping anytime soon. She will wean when she is good and ready. She is strong and healthy and weighs 17 lbs and is 27 ½ Inches long! She is the most amazing little girl. She is loved by all our hearts! I hope other mommies can read this story and gain strength. We will do all we can do as parents to fight for our children and make sure they get what is best for them.
First time I ever held Zuri, 5th First time Chris (daddy) ever held Zuri. 6th Zuri 1 years old. (Current)
Amy McCarty
