My Birth Choices

The birth of Cameron Aiden Casson

September 13 2012

My water started leaking at approx. 3am on Wednesday September 11. Ihad ctx starting by 5:30am which were very mild,approx ½ hour apart. I was bothered a bit about the fact that this labour was starting almost the same way that Colin’s had. He is my firstborn and I ended up with a caesarean section after going in because my water broke. I would stress on it for a bit, let a few tears out and then be over it. This repeated a few times until I realized that my water wasn’t going to break completely and the ctx were picking up a bit. I had a nap with the boys at 1:30pm, woke up about 3:30pm and the ctx had slowed down some. I started making hamburger soup and waited to have the ctx pick up again. They were still a ½ hour apart at this point, but starting to have a bit more zing to them. Throughout the evening they started to slowly get closer together but I still had a ways to go before he would be born. I went to bed and was able to doze a bit while contracting about every 10-15 minutes with them lasting about 30-45 seconds. Then, finally about 3:30am on Thursday September 13, the contractions had finally gotten into a good rhythm at 10 min apart and lasting for about a min to a min and a half long. I got out of bed and decided to sit on the birth ball and surf facebook. ;D The ball didn’t do too much for me so I went back to standing and making figure 8 motions with my hips during the ctx.

About 4:30am I went back to bed and the ctx started slowing slightly, just enough to give me a bit of a break for a couple hours. I got out of bed at 6am and went out to the living room to chill out with my oldestwho had woken up just a few minutes before. I went about getting my son and myself something to eat and the contractions tapered right off for about a half hour. By 7am my hubby and my youngest had woken up and also come out of the bedroom. I made my youngest up a bowl of yoghurt and granola and decided to have some myself. I had to stand up and swivel my hips through about 3 or 4 contractions while eating. When I was done I decided to go back to bed for a bit and lie down. I went to the washroom before lying down, time is fuzzy from this point on but I think it was just before 9am. While sitting on the toilet, I got hit by one monster of a contraction that told me it was definitely game time. ;D I would just like to say that I give kudos to the women that can labour while sitting on a toilet. I am NOT one of them lol. From this point on I only had about 10 ctx before Cameron was born!

Ray decided that he should get the water going into the pool. I had gotten a $30 pool for birthing in from Jysk in Medicine Hat, no fishies and it looked a lot like the La Bassine pools. Well, when I got through 2 or 3 more ctx and the water was only up about an inch in the pool, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to have a waterbirth. The ctx at this point were coming very strong and I had pushing sensations with each one that kept getting stronger. Thinking back now, I believe this is where Cameron did his moving down in my pelvis and getting into position to be born. I found it hard to work with these ctx and got very vocal before remembering to breathe with each one.  I wandered between the two bedrooms in our house leaning(hanging on for dear life lol) to the dressers that were tall enough to stand with for a bit before I decided on staying in our bedroom. We got the plastic sheets that I had ordered underneath me along with chux pads and I tried to stay in sync with the ctx that were coming fast and furious. I have to admit that these ctx took me by surprise as they were so different than the ones that I had with Connor. When I had Connor I was lying in the labour bed pretty much on my back, with these ones I was upright and they were quite a bit stronger than the ones I had in the hospital with Connor. I laboured standing up for a few more contractions and then decided that my undies had better come off because Cameron felt very close to being born. I had to get lower as I knew that I couldn’t or didn’t want to give birth standing upright. I remember turning around and saying “What do I want? What do I want?” I decided to kneel down at the end of our bed and it was the perfect height to rest my arms on. I held onto my head lots and roared through the rest of the ctx, trying to remember to breathe as well so I didn’t tear. I remember feeling his head move down with ctx and then coming back a bit each time, which was actually really cool to me. I also remember feeling his head for the first time and that was awesome. One more ctx and his head was out, then I lifted my left leg and was able to push out his shoulders and the rest of his body. In all I believe it wasn’t more than an hour between that first pushy ctx on the toilet and when he was born. I actually think it might have been a bit less than an hour. He was born at 9:27 in the morning. He was only out for a couple seconds and he was already screaming his head off lol. I think he liked the swiftness of his birth about as much as I did! It is amazing though, I forgot all about how difficult it was in about 5 minutes of him being in my arms

Now for a little back story on why we chose to birth at home, even knowing that there couldn’t be a midwife present. When I found out I was pregnant I knew that I wanted to be under the care of the midwives here in town. I have had two pregnancies with the care of doctors and two hospital births. The first ended in a caesarean that I know was unnecessary and the second was a hospital VBAC. I am wholly supportive of having doctors/OBs as your care provider if you are high risk, but I know now that when you are low risk having a care provider that understands natural birth is a much better option. I have done a ton of research on natural birth, talked to many women and read many, many birth stories since those two births. I also took a course to become a doula in the year after Connor(my second) was born. I knew that I would be more comfortable with midwives attending me and was hoping that I would be able to have this baby at home, with our whole family present. I attended the meet and greet the hospital runs each month for the midwives and their prospective clients and there found out I would be seeing Arian. We talked a little bit and I felt very comfortable right off the bat and realized that she shared many of the same ideals of birth that I had. She was hopeful that home birth would be an option in the near future for the community. As my pregnancy progressed the option of homebirth was put on hold indefinitely and I realized that I would have to make a very difficult decision. I decided that I was not going to give up my dream of having this baby at home with his dad and siblings present. It was one that I went back and forth on a few times and shed many tears over. I knew in my heart that birth was about as safe as life gets and everything would likely turn out fine. I was honest with myself and also know that there can be things that go wrong, but with no interventions and a mama that is comfortable and feeling safe in her surroundings birth is extremely safe. I joined a few unassisted birthing groups and talked to a couple other moms that I knew had birthed at home with just their partners for support. Near the end of my pregnancy the health region hired a new manager for the midwifery program. Arian has talked with him and he is open to new ideas and helping in any way that he can to make homebirth an option for this region.

 I am very happy with this news and am already reaping the benefits as Arian is able to come out to our house for home visits/baby wellness checks. While I am very sad and feel like I missed out on an opportunity to work with an amazing lady for my birth, I am again hopeful for the future of birthing mamas in our area.

MOM NATURALLY BIRTHS 7 lbs 14 oz BABY GIRL

Let’s take a minute to recover from that thought, shall we?

Another baby girl made her grand entrance into the world on Novemeber 13th, 2008. She was born in hospital and was home three hours later. With today’s advance Health Care system, how could something like this have occurred?

Nine months prior to this delivery both her mom and dad were shocked that they were expecting another baby. After a traumatic delivery with their first child, born by caesarean section, they had not known if they would risk another pregnancy, another surgical delivery. Mom is quoted to have said ‘if I ever get pregnant again, I will have a Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC), even if it means we stay at home to deliver the baby’!! The nerve! This topic has remained quite controversial among health care professionals. Some physicians have even gone as far as to suggest that first time caesarean moms schedule surgical deliveries for all subsequent births. Not this mom, she would hear nothing of it. So, as a new reporter for Confessions of a Birth-a-holic, I desperately wanted to chronicle the couple’s experience with this thing called natural birth, and a VBAC at that. How would they succeed? Here is their story…

First of all, these parents took matters into their own hands. They researched and planned for a successful VBAC delivery. How? First they made sure they understood the evidence surrounding the risks and benefits of a VBAC. They were confident in their decision that a VBAC was best for both mom and baby. After much searching, they also located a physician who would support their decision. Many of the doctors they talked with discussed a trial of labour. But this mom was not comfortable with that kind of terminology; she was focussed on a successful natural labour and delivery. Baby’s mom really felt that she had been robbed of the natural childbirth experience with her first baby, who was a footling breech and subsequent caesarean section. With this pregnancy, she was determined to welcome the marvels of womanhood through a vaginal birthing experience. Wow, I think to myself as I reflect on this ideology, the wonders of a woman.

There were many other facets involved with the preparation for the birth. In order to prepare mom for the physical and emotional challenges of labour and delivery, she took a self-instructed hypnobirthing course. That said, during labour she is quoted to have said ‘turn this s--t off’ while listening to her hypnosis CD’s. Apparently the hypnosis preparation was not as efficient as their other chosen support system, a Doula. Huh? What the heck is that you ask? I was dumbfounded upon hearing of this professional but apparently there are women experienced in childbirth who want to provide physical, emotional and informational support to mothers, before, during and after childbirth. News to me (and now you) but not news to this couple! Their Doula was hired because they knew her, liked her, admired her and trusted that she could provide them with the information and support they would require to accomplish their goal of a VBAC.

Since mom had much invested in the vaginal birth of her second child, the Doula had her work cut out for her. She knew personal details about this couple, and the mom specifically (which is a whole other story), that meant she would have to have a heightened awareness of the labour progress and when to head to the hospital. Although mom had earlier said she would rather stay at home than risk a caesarean, she also knew that, as a VBAC patient, her doctor was more comfortable with her delivering in hospital (even if they would have to get a disco ball to give mom the birth experience she so desired).

As luck would have it, baby was one-week post dates (note sarcasm here). Mom went to a doctor’s appointment only to find out that her cervix was posterior. That’s right, there was nothing…notta…zip…zero…ziltch…happening ‘down there’. This news always causes stress for a pregnant mom, since every day after d-day is a ticking time bomb to induction. Not good news for a VBAC mom. But, as luck really would have it, one hour after hearing this news, pressure waves started. Mom had a feeling that these waves were ‘it’ despite having had two previous days of what she referred to as ‘surfing the waves’. So, in response to the realization of the impending birth, mom headed to Fuddrucker’s for a last supper of sorts (it is reported that women labour more efficiently after consuming the Hawaiian Chicken Salad from Fudd’s). Several hours later, mom called her Doula to let her know that the day had arrived, it was a second coming for the mom and she was prepared! The Doula responded by checking in on the emotional state of the couple and setting up a birthing tub for mom to labour in. When mom finally decided to use the tub, she knew the Doula and her tub were God sent.

After a few hours of labouring in the shower, on the bed and in the bathroom, it was finally ‘tub time’ and mom spent four solid hours squatting in that labour tub, with her Doula and her husband never leaving her side. She had finally found her rhythm, as the Doula had counselled them she would. The entire time in the tub, her Doula provided counter pressure on her back during each contraction. Looking back, the mom has said ‘it was almost relaxing…if one can call intense, bulldozing, abdominal pain relaxing’! The Doula also whispered encouraging words and ensured the couple that things were progressing normally. Whew! What a relief to both mom and dad! And speaking of dad, he was also an amazing support during this physically and emotionally demanding task. Eyewitnesses say mom actually bit his leg or hand during some of the contractions. I think we can safely assume that the Doula was happy that she was not on the receiving end of those fangs.

As labour progressed and got more intense, the impending transfer to the hospital was inevitable. The couple desperately wanted to labour at home for as long as possible, in order to avoid unnecessary medical intervention, but they still wanted to deliver in hospital. Time was of the essence and this couple completely trusted their Doula to know when to leave and how to get mom, so far progressed in labour, out of the tub, into the car and to the hospital. And the Doula did. She knew exactly when it was time; she remained calm and supportive while they relocated. They arrived at the hospital 10 cm dilated. Hooray! Mission accomplished. Ah…no…wait…she still had to actually deliver the baby!

Being at the hospital was a whole new experience that required additional support from the Doula. I mean, who makes these hospital policies where the husband is meant to wait in line to fill out forms, whilst a mom in need of physical and emotional support stands alone? Thank goodness for the Doula, who never left the birthing mom’s side. Not to mention, it might have been a bit awkward for a woman to be alone, wearing only a T-shirt and boots in the hallway, leaning over a wheelchair, moaning and groaning. Then again, this is the ER, so maybe not.

Once the paperwork was completed the threesome headed for labour and delivery. This is where mom was in for a real shock. No one had ever told her that the hallway from the elevator to labour and delivery is about a 100-kilometre distance! I was also shocked when she told me. It seems unbelievable. But, I feel it is my duty to let pregnant women know, if you deliver in hospital, you will be required to pass through this extremely long hallway. It’s the only way to get there. Apparently this dad is quoted to have said ‘it doesn’t look that long’ (I believe she may have bit his hand clean off with the next contraction). Luckily, the Doula reassured them that at the end of this little hallway, they would finally reach their destination.

Upon examination by the attending physician, the parents were thrilled to hear that it was time to welcome baby into their waiting arms! They thought this would be quick and easy. The baby would arrive in 20 minutes, give or take a few and they’d be calling all their friends and family with the dirty deets of the birth. Wrong. Thank goodness for the Doula. She was a calm presence, a wealth of knowledge and a great support for the parents while baby took her sweet time descending the birth canal. When the pushing wasn’t progressing, the Doula suggested switching positions, played soothing music, provided physical support and constantly whispered encouraging words to the mother. It was the Doula, not the doctor, nurse or spouse, who eased the fears the mom had of feeling the baby crown and her fear of tearing. She reassured mom that her perineum was being protected and that when the baby crowned, she would be born. It was exactly what mom needed to hear and with the next wave, baby arrived. Finally, with the collaboration of mom, dad, doctor and the Doula, the VBAC birth was successful. Mission accomplished.

I asked this baby’s mom about her feelings on her VBAC experience and this was her response:
“I believe birth is one of the most important, life-impacting journeys a woman goes through. It was a right of passage that I longed for. I wanted to be able to experience the complete submission of myself to my body, to let go and allow my body and my baby do the job they were designed to do. I did this with the support of my husband and my Doula. This was a major accomplishment and despite that, there was no hero cookie handed to me when it was over (which was fine, I wasn’t hungry anyway). Besides, I had my supportive Doula, my proud husband to give me all the kudos I required. The only thing I’ve pondered since the birth of my baby is this, where were the news media and television crews???”

I couldn’t agree more. Woman naturally births 7 lbs 14 oz baby girl! Now that is news worthy!

( this was submitted by an amazing mom who loves to write in third person)

VBAC - Very Beautiful And Courageous

I gave birth
Too large of a baby
Too flat of a pelvis
Said I couldn’t do it
I gave birth
Too risky they said
Too much overdue
C-Section scar
I gave birth
Glucose intolerant
Group B positive
What’s your end game?
I gave birth
Without their interventions
Without their fears
Surrounded by calm peaceful love
I gave birth
Let that contraction go
Listen to your body
Holding hands
I gave birth
Birth stool in my kitchen
Birth tub on the floor
Trusting it all
I gave birth
Strong pain
Stronger support
Moaning low
I gave birth
My body isn’t broken
My spirit is healed
My heart is so thankful
I GAVE BIRTH!

My VBAC

After the birth of my daughter I knew right away that I wanted to be pregnant and give birth again. Not because I was fully ready to have more babies…or to give birth…but because I wanted a do over. My first birth was a traumatic experience and I wanted a second chance…I wanted to prove that I could give birth the way I wanted to. I knew I couldn’t get pregnant again right away because it just wouldn’t have been a smart decision…so I waited. During this time I really struggled with what I had been through…at first it was all I wanted to talk about. But nobody really understood…my husband was very supportive but it just wasn’t enough. Through a mom’s group I had joined I found out about Birth Rhythm and decided to take one of their mom and baby classes. During the class I met these women who had wonderful natural birth experiences and I ached for what they had. Kari, the doula running the class and who I had only talked on the phone with, was amazing. I instantly connected with her…she made me feel safe, important and comfortable. I barely knew her and she was giving me hugs and offering to talk about my birth over tea…I never took her up on her offer…I really wanted to but I didn’t quite have the courage to open up to anyone yet…but the offer was exactly what I needed. And I though to myself when I get pregnant again I am calling Kari.

When I did get pregnant for the second time, I was probably in avoidance for ½ of the pregnancy. Although I wanted more kids, I wasn’t truly ready to have another child…it was more a need to birth again. And when I actually thought about having another baby and giving birth again I was terrified. My brain knew what I need to do in order to birth the way I wanted to but I just wasn’t ready to go there yet. I went back and forth about whether or not I wanted a doula for this birth…my husband was very supportive either way but he said the decision was up to me. I just wasn’t sure if I could trust anyone again and part of me wanted to prove that my husband and I could do this on our own. I finally decided to take the prenatal class through Birth Rhythm. When I started reading the books from class every time they talked about the cons of different medical interventions all I could think was that happened to me. It really hit home and got me thinking and motivated to take an active role in this pregnancy and birth. And for me that meant stop avoiding my first birth experience, start facing my fears and allow myself to ask for support. Every night after class I would come home and write in my journal or talk my husband’s ear off about all the new insights I was having. I felt so light…like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I was beginning to trust my body and my intuition again. I looked forward to class every week…it was such a safe place…its hard to describe how I felt when I attend class…except safe, supported and surrounded by the excitement of birth. Even though I don’t think I ever told them…as I usually just sat back and listened, taking everything in…Kari and Lisa’s trust in the birth process was amazing to me. I can’t even begin to describe what they did for me. They supported me without feeling sorry for me. They made me feel strong, believed in and heard. They trusted in my birth, which allowed me to trust in it as well. Their support beforehand and Kari and my husband’s support during my labor truly allowed me to have a beautiful birth experience…

I woke up on Tuesday morning, after a great night’s sleep, feeling a little funny. I was having some minor cramping and contractions about 20 minutes apart. After we got our daughter off to daycare and my husband went to work, I tried to rest but I couldn’t really get comfortable. Things were pretty mild at this point and I wasn’t 100% sure I was in labor but I thought I might be. So I cleaned the bathrooms….I didn’t want to labor in a dirty bathroom… and got ready for the day. I was able to walk and talk through the contractions for most of the morning. I was suppose to go for a massage at my husband’s work later that morning but phoned to tell him I wasn’t going to make it because I still wasn’t feeling that great. Plus it was snowing and I didn’t want to venture out. He asked me if he needed to come home but I didn’t think so yet. I think I was still in denial that I was actually in labor. He did come home for lunch and was planning to go back to work but we decided he should stay home and rest…in case we had a long night ahead of us. In the early afternoon I couldn’t walk or talk through the contractions anymore, but they were still bearable and about 7 minutes apart. I sat in the rocking chair in the baby’s room, focusing on the contractions and talking to my soon to arrive baby. I felt so relaxed, safe and connected to the little one inside of me. I was feeling very determined to allow my body to do what it need to do in order to birth my baby. My husband was watching TV and would come and check on me every once in awhile. But for the most part I just wanted to be alone with my baby. About mid-afternoon we started to make plans as to where our daughter was going to spend the night. This required a few phone calls, which caused me to become a little unfocused, and I started to feel flustered and less in control. The contractions were becoming stronger and were harder to get through. My husband and I tried different techniques to help with the pain but nothing seemed to work. Every time he touched me it felt like it made the contraction stronger. The contractions were all in my belly and it felt like it was ripping apart. So for the next little while, we just sat together and my husband talked me through the pain. At around 6:30, I was starting to lose control. I couldn’t find a comfortable position…nothing seemed to help. I just wanted to get into the bath tub, but I was scared it was going to slow down labor. I wasn’t sure if I was past 4 cm yet as the contractions were still 4 to 6 minutes apart. My husband checked me and figured I was 4-6cm dilated. Thank god… I am getting in the tub. He was also pretty excited because he said he could feel the baby’s head. So I got into the tub and my husband phoned Kari. She said she would come over whenever we were ready, but we thought we’d wait and try the bath first. I thought this is going to relax me and take away the pain. But it didn’t. I couldn’t bear the pain when I was lying down and the tub was too small to be on my hands and knees…my husband phoned for Kari to come. I am so thankful she was there, as I am sure at this point we would have gone to the hospital if we didn’t have her. I knelt on the floor and leaned on our bed trying to breath through each contraction, but they were becoming almost unbearable. They would come on so fast and so strong but were still only 5 minutes apart. I’m going to be doing this all night…I don’t think I can. Kari arrives. She talks me through the contractions…I am able to relax and cope a little bit better…her support is amazing. But then I start to feel some pressure and there are 3 contractions one right after another. I can’t do this anymore…it feels like the baby is going to fall out. Kari says we should go to the hospital. I don’t want to move but I have to…how am I going to make it out to the car…I wish I could stay home. Why was I too scared to have a baby at home? Its cold out, I am shaking uncontrollably. The ride seems to take forever. Is the baby really coming…the contractions still seem so far apart and my water hasn’t broken…I can’t do this all night…the pain is becoming unbearable. Kari hugs me in the backseat keeping me warm and calm as my husband drives. I notice it’s snowing and icy out. We are at the hospital…I just got to get inside…it’s so hard to move. Kari takes me in and my husband parks the car. Another contraction…I hold on to her…it’s so hard to stay standing. The line ups look so long in emergency…I don’t think I can wait…how am I going to wait. Another contraction…I can’t get away from the pain…it seems like there is no where to find comfort. I want to push. Kari is wheeling me up to assessments and my husband stays behind to register…where is my husband…he is going to miss something. Another contraction. I can’t sit in this wheelchair…I need to push. We get to assessments and they send us straight to delivery. There is so much commotion. Someone says take off your pants and get on the bed. I do. I am on my hands and knees…my water breaks…what relief…I really need to push. I am told to turn over. I can’t move…I don’t want anyone to touch me. There’s my husband’s voice…he made it. My husband and Kari help me turn over…the nurse checks me…I am 10 cm. I can push. I feel the baby moving with each push…oh god this hurts…I just want him out. I thought the pushing would feel better. The contractions are ripping me apart. I feel Kari’s hand on my back helping me to push correctly. There is so much pressure. I can hear my husband…his voice full of so much amazement and excitement…he can see the head. Did the baby just go all the way back in…I thought he was almost out…is he almost out? I am groaning…I must be so loud. They tell me to open my eyes and look at the head. Is that my body…I am really doing this. I push…the head is out…where was the burn…I thought it was suppose to burn…one more push and out comes the body…so fast. Such relieve. It’s a boy. I look down…he looks so little…I’m holding him…I did it…I can’t believe I did it. He is perfect….oh god what relief…I can’t believe he’s already here. I can’t believe I am holding his naked little body. Kari stays by my side. I feel safe, taken care of. I watch my husband, as he stays with our baby boy…so excited to be a dad for the second time.

After our 7lb 6oz little boy was born, I remember saying that it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Not because it wasn’t painful or tiring or emotional. But because I felt safe, loved and in control. I was strong and my body did what it was made to do. I guess part of me didn’t believe it could be different than my first birth experience. Part of me didn’t fully believe natural childbirth was possible. But it is and I am so thankful to have had experienced it. And I am so thankful for the support I had along the way from my husband and Kari. They gave me the confidence and determination to use my voice in order to have the birth experience I wanted. After going through my first birth, I definitely see this pregnancy and birth experience as a precious gift. It helped to heal many wounds and allowed me to trust in my body and intuition again.